Betrayal
I was watching a little television last night and a Nyquil ad came on. Or maybe it was Tylenol. I can't remember.
What I do remember is that Lili Taylor did the voice over. Lili Taylor, object of a nearly 20 year crush, was hawking overpriced cold medicine. Lili Taylor, whom my wife refers to as "your little girlfriend," (as in, "oh, I know why you want to see Household Saints--your little girlfriend is in it." Lili Taylor had a television series briefly a few years ago that almost busted up my marriage. I tried pretending to be jealous of Oliver Platt, just so things would be equal, but it didn't work. Has anyone ever really been jealous of Oliver Platt?) is a corporate shill.
The voice that launched a thousand fantasies tried to get me to buy expensive and foul-tasting and likely immuno-suppressing syrup the only redeeming feature of which is that it comes in a new unnatural color.
Sigh.
I will likely recover (catching a rerun of the X-Files episode that she's on should do the trick), but why must my fantasy women betray me? Why?
Lili, I forgave you for dating that Broderick guy. But Nyquil ads?
So this is a plea to my remaining celebrity crushes (I'm talking to you Chrissie): YOU ARE ON NOTICE. Don't do anything stupid.
At least not until I recover from this.
Confidential to Emmylou: I understand why you changed the words to the Neil Young song. I am over it. Let's just put it all behind us, ok?
p.s. I know my thing against cold medicine is weird. I can't help it. It's unappealing and overpriced and I am convinced that has deleterious effects on one's health.
What I do remember is that Lili Taylor did the voice over. Lili Taylor, object of a nearly 20 year crush, was hawking overpriced cold medicine. Lili Taylor, whom my wife refers to as "your little girlfriend," (as in, "oh, I know why you want to see Household Saints--your little girlfriend is in it." Lili Taylor had a television series briefly a few years ago that almost busted up my marriage. I tried pretending to be jealous of Oliver Platt, just so things would be equal, but it didn't work. Has anyone ever really been jealous of Oliver Platt?) is a corporate shill.
The voice that launched a thousand fantasies tried to get me to buy expensive and foul-tasting and likely immuno-suppressing syrup the only redeeming feature of which is that it comes in a new unnatural color.
Sigh.
I will likely recover (catching a rerun of the X-Files episode that she's on should do the trick), but why must my fantasy women betray me? Why?
Lili, I forgave you for dating that Broderick guy. But Nyquil ads?
So this is a plea to my remaining celebrity crushes (I'm talking to you Chrissie): YOU ARE ON NOTICE. Don't do anything stupid.
At least not until I recover from this.
Confidential to Emmylou: I understand why you changed the words to the Neil Young song. I am over it. Let's just put it all behind us, ok?
p.s. I know my thing against cold medicine is weird. I can't help it. It's unappealing and overpriced and I am convinced that has deleterious effects on one's health.
posted by Feemus at
9:55 AM
4 Comments:
I get the thing with Lili -- she's nice, different. I like the song she sings in "Say Anything."
Chrissie....Hynde? Harnos?
Hynde has a thing for Ray Davies, but you probably already know that. It shows good taste, I think. He's done some pretty cool, pretty only-Ray-Davies-coulda-done-it stuff, you know? History!
I'm trying to think of someone who's let me down...but in the meantime, Chrissie who?
By
Anonymous, at 7:37 PM
Hynde. Mmmmmm.....
You know, I think half my thing with Chrissie Hynde is because I want to BE Ray Davies.
Hell, even being Dave Davies would be cooler than my life!
Then she married that guy from Simple Minds, and I thought to myself: "You might almost have a shot."
She's my most enduring celebrity crush. I was pretty in love with Exene Cervenka for much of the 80s, but now she's just too crazy (and to be brutally honest, she's aged badly). I still want to be John Doe, though. Just a little.
By
Feemus, at 8:03 AM
Most enduring, eh? Well in that case, Paul Newman has never let me down. He's like Dylan (again) -- he's done so much that's unbelievably good that he can be forgiven any...accidents.
Now to go look up Exene...
By
Anonymous, at 9:09 AM
Newman and Dylan--pretty solid.
Although after the Victoria's Secret ads, I only want to spoon Dylan.
A guy's gotta have standards.
By
Feemus, at 4:40 PM
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