A Day in the Life of the World's Laziest Man

I'm working from home this week, which is nice, but not always productive of work.

This morning, I was getting some leftover tabouleh out of the refrigerator for breakfast. And I don't know how it happened, but the bowl slipped out of my hands. Everything was in slo-mo: I could see the bowl falling and the tabouleh flying in excruciating detail. I heard myself yelling "nnnnnnnooooooooooooo!."

And then everything went back to normal time and I had about a quart and a half of salad everywhere. All over inside the refrigerator. Down in the vents of the refrigerator. All over the floor, the countertop, the cupboards. All over me--bits of tomato and cucumber and bulgher in my hair and on my glasses. Everything smelt of garlic and mint.

So I spent the morning cleaning up. I actually had to bust out the old screwdriver and take the refrigerator apart in order to get it all up. There's still a faint sheen of olive oil on the cupboards and I don't think I'll ever get the garlic smell off me. I'm half tempted to go the mikvah down the block and see if they can help.

I have given up on work. I still haven't had any breakfast. I am going to the movies.