Busride Beckett: An Impromptu Production of Endgame on the #86
On the bus today I was eavesdropping. I couldn't help myself.
There was a couple sitting behind me who I got the sense were having "the awkward busride after the drunken hookup which they're not sure yet if they regret."
I realize that this is a very specific kind of commuter category, but I think we've all been there once or twice. The subway is better for this kind of thing, because it's noisier and the demand for conversation is less. Driving is the absolute worst.
Anyway, there were some awkward moments. They'd clearly spent the night at his place, because he asked her where she lived. And then they both seemed embarrassed by the implications of the question. There was some talk of a mutual friend. He said he'd call her that night, to which she muttered something about "maybe being out tonight." Ouch, guy.
And then this very charming and intelligent discussion about what one says at the bus stop if one wants the driver to open the second set of doors. It doesn't have anything to do with their semi-regretted debauch, but that just made it even more delightful:
He: I heard some lady call out "rear door" the other day? You ever hear that?
She: I'm not sure. I think: I say "back door."
He: Everone says "back door." But I like "rear door." First of all, you get to say "rear." Also, it sounds more technical. But mainly, it's funny to say "rear."
She: "Back door" actually sounds dirtier, though.
He: Yeah, I guess so. It also sounds more commandy. "BACK DOOR." Jawohl, mein Bussenpassengeren!
She: Yeah, "rear door" sounds nice. Like you're on the team. "Can you open the rear door so that the passengers may exit in an orderly fashion."
He: And, you get to say "rear."
They got off at my stop (where, incidently, the driver opened the back door without prompting), exchanged an awkward kiss, and were gone from my life forever. Goodbye, you funny slutty wonderful things, you. Goodbye.
There was a couple sitting behind me who I got the sense were having "the awkward busride after the drunken hookup which they're not sure yet if they regret."
I realize that this is a very specific kind of commuter category, but I think we've all been there once or twice. The subway is better for this kind of thing, because it's noisier and the demand for conversation is less. Driving is the absolute worst.
Anyway, there were some awkward moments. They'd clearly spent the night at his place, because he asked her where she lived. And then they both seemed embarrassed by the implications of the question. There was some talk of a mutual friend. He said he'd call her that night, to which she muttered something about "maybe being out tonight." Ouch, guy.
And then this very charming and intelligent discussion about what one says at the bus stop if one wants the driver to open the second set of doors. It doesn't have anything to do with their semi-regretted debauch, but that just made it even more delightful:
He: I heard some lady call out "rear door" the other day? You ever hear that?
She: I'm not sure. I think: I say "back door."
He: Everone says "back door." But I like "rear door." First of all, you get to say "rear." Also, it sounds more technical. But mainly, it's funny to say "rear."
She: "Back door" actually sounds dirtier, though.
He: Yeah, I guess so. It also sounds more commandy. "BACK DOOR." Jawohl, mein Bussenpassengeren!
She: Yeah, "rear door" sounds nice. Like you're on the team. "Can you open the rear door so that the passengers may exit in an orderly fashion."
He: And, you get to say "rear."
They got off at my stop (where, incidently, the driver opened the back door without prompting), exchanged an awkward kiss, and were gone from my life forever. Goodbye, you funny slutty wonderful things, you. Goodbye.
posted by Feemus at
5:54 PM
2 Comments:
Great story, Feemus. I miss taking the bus. We don't have any buses out here in God's Country, you know. But you remind me of how entertaining bus rides used to be. Sniff! Thanks!
By
Anonymous, at 9:14 PM
Yeah, the bus is great. In a Hobbesian "war of all against all" kind of sociology experiment sort of way.
And so many smells!!
I kid. I like the bus, okay. And it beats the $5000 a year it saves me in parking!
By
Feemus, at 5:20 PM
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