This Just In: Republicans Full of Shit

A Washington Post article about the new immigration bill says that many on the right "derided the agreement as a sellout of conservative principles," characterizing it as a form of amnesty.

Not only are they full of shit, the Republicans are entirely lacking in any sense of (alarmingly recent) history. It was Ronald Reagan whose "amnesty" toward illegal immigrants started this whole mess. Because as nice as "amnesty" sounds, his program was really about policing a newly racialized border.

Before the Reagan sleight-of-hand (keep the audience's eye on the flashy "amnesty" while you start building barriers with the other hand) people crossed the border more freely and there was less incentive to become an "illegal." A person could simply go home at night or after the season. Work in the US, live in Mexico. But the Reagan rhetoric and policies turned an economic situation into a military one. The border crossers were no longer laborers, but invaders.

The Reagan amnesty was a propogandist fiction used to legitimize the creation of an enforced (and racialized) border. The very word "amnesty" suggests that these worker had been doing something that needed legal forgiveness, but until the 1986 bill, this wasn't necessarily the case.

By destroying the fluidity of the border, Reagan created an incentive for illegal immigration. If one can't keep one's job and go home at night, one contrives to make one's home where the job is. It ain't rocket science.

But what really pisses me off about this is how the very architects of NAFTA are the ones bitching about immigration. One the one hand, they want us to believe that we are all part of a single market, that economies should overflow national boundaries and that we'll all benefit from relaxing economic regulations.

Although I've never quite understood how the guy losing his job or the other guy who's being employed at crap wages with no health insurance are really benefitting. Although I do see how Chrylser is benefitting.

Where was I? Oh yes: so the Republicans want us to think beyond national boundaries when it comes to NAFTA, but when it comes to immigration, we need to be vigilant about these borders.

Part of this is surely a kind of reflexive racist response to the brownin of America, but an even larger part of it is about supporting and maintaining the real goals of NAFTA: the endless supply of cheap labor south of the border. If we permit a fluid border, we run the risk of ACTUALLY, rather than just rhetorically, blending the economies, thereby effectively raising the standard of living in border towns and bringing wages more in alignment with those of the US.

Republicans can't stand the thought that the bullshit they spout about NAFTA--that is will help workers--might actually come true, so they've concocted this new hysteria about immigration to help ensure that they don't ever have to live up to their "conservative principles."

Half Past Ten

We had a departmental party last night. These are slightly awkward affairs--the sheer concentration of geekiness always seems slightly precarious. That much geek in so small a space; I'm always partly convinced that the parties are surrounded by a kind of geek event horizon, that they're invisible to cooler passers-by. It has something to do with the relation between nerd escape velocity and the speed of light. Or something like that.

At any rate, they're often productive of some of the most charming conversations. These people can argue about absolutely anything:

A: Is that "Take a Letter Maria" playing? That song always makes me want to dance.

B: Except that it's about, you know, adultery and heartbreak.

C: And sexual harrassment.

A: But the music is so cheerful.

B: I don't think it's harrassment. It's about finding new love.

C: Yeah, it is. Sure. Except does Maria have any choice in the matter? Or is it just some asshole overcompensating for the fact that he can't satisfy his wife by coercing his secretary into sleeping with him?

B: Sleeping with? That's not in the song. That's all in your mind.

C: And don't even get me started on the race thing.

B: What? You're insane. The race thing?

C: About the boss creating a hostile work environment for his economically vulnerable Latina employee.

B: I thought the boss was black.

C: Are you saying a black guy can't be a bad boss? Don't be so closed-minded.

A: I wonder if the boss's name is Jones. Maybe his cheating wife was cheating with Billy Paul.

B: Billy Paul? Oh, yeah. "Me and Mrs. Jones." Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones. That's a good song. Or a good bad song. I know it's wrong (but it's much too strong). I like it.

A: Yeah, but you can't dance to it. Like "Take a Letter Maria." You can dance to that.

D: [walking over] What are you guys talking about?

C: The abuses of power.

A: "Take a Letter Maria."

D: What? Who's Maria?

TV-o-Rama

I've had the flu this weekend. It was one of those delicious illnesses that left me too sick to work but not so sick that I couldn't get decently comfortable. Just sick enough to stay home and watch tv.


Watching 20+ hours of television in two days is quite a strange experience. These are the things I learned:

"This Week" hasn't changed in the 15 years since last I watched it. Well, except that it used to be "This Week With David Brinkley," who is now dead and replaced with George Stephanopolis. But everything else is still the same: Cokie Robert's hair is still frosted within an inch of it's life. Sam Donaldson's hair still looks like it came from the bargain bin at The Hair Club for Howard Cosell Impersonators. George Will's hair still looks like it came off some wholesome lad in a Norman Rockwell painting called something like "Little Know-It-All Gets the Shit Kicked Out of Him." Also, the political commentary is still largely moronic.

That Law and Order show is always on. Is there any crime those clever writers can't commit and then solve?

Television offers a kind of disturbing cultural continuity. It isn't simply that the genres are so calcified that there is very little variation between a '60s sitcom and a current one, but that the old ones have been on in reruns for so long that they feel like part of the fabric of our consciousness rather than artifacts of a lost past. Somewhere out there, the Beaver is always getting into some misguided but well-intentioned scrape and Ricky won't let Lucy in the show. And 24 hours a day some authority figure is coming to the 4077th, ready to bust them for disobeying regulations only to be deeply impressed by how well they do their jobs. Doctors are heros.

Wolf Blitzer is some kind of automaton.


I learned a lot from the advertisements, as well:

I am fat.

I am hungry.

My supply of personal electronics is dangerously low. In fact, if I don't get start buying tiny devices to play music and talk and take photos it's entirely likely that I will never get laid again and I will die alone. Of cancer. Of cancer of the loneliness.

Freud's theory that homosexuality is essentially narcissism would be better applied to the people who hook up on eHarmony.com. Those people in the commercials all look exactly the same. It's seriously freaky. I mean have you seen them? These couples look like identical twins of different genders. Freaky.


It's been a very educational weekend.

Best Excuse Ever!!

I wrote to a student to ask when I might expect an essay that was due last Friday. This was the reply:

Hey Feemus,
The paper was due on Friday? But my day planner says it's due on Wednesday. I always write everything down in my day planner.

-QED

Well, if it's in your day planner, it must be so. I'm sure that the mistake was on the syllabus. You have my sincerest apologies.

Would you mind looking in your day planner to see when the final exam is? I would hate to give it on the wrong day.

Just when you think you've seen it all...